I actually shouldn’t title this “Why Blog” as I feel more equipped to tell you why NOT to blog. Let me explain. I first have to give a bit of backstory if you’ve not read my “about me” page. I’ve been a “direct sales jewelry lady” for over a decade! I’m only 34 yet in the past six months have humbly been brought to my knees in all facets of my life, but in a big way in my direct sales business. Thank God. And yet, it’s HARD! I am grateful that God has seemingly supernaturally halted everything in my business and humbled me. If you don’t know me, let me begin by saying, I will admit to everyone, I’m a go-getter, a doer, a mind-over-matter don’t give excuses, just make it happen type of person. So, let’s be real, it’s hard when you can’t get results to happen in your business by doing the things you know to do. I finally had to stop racing, racing, racing and BE STILL and ask God and myself what in the world are you doing, and WHY?? I like to say my direct sales business was for helping others, BUT God is graciously showing me how even from the start as an innocent, unknowing college junior it really was about me, whether for praise, appreciation, attention, accolades, money-it did boil down to my own selfish fleshly nature. OUCH.
So, let’s stay on track, WHY BLOG? Well in this journey of having my business literally tanking, I felt God asking me to just STOP, come away with HIM, BE STILL. In that time of searching there were lots of tears, frustrations, feelings of embarrassment, shame, discouragement, YET as I prayed and allowed myself to be broken I felt peace, hope and as I prayed for a vision of what GOD wants from me, my life, He started giving me little nuggets of information-revealing to me who I am and what I am created for. How refreshing. To not strive and try and come up with my own ideas. Now let me say, I’m the first to struggle with rushing this process. He’d give me a few words while in prayer, like “healing hearts” and I’d run with it and come up with all sorts of my ideas, and then have to STOP, go back, be still, wait for HIM to give me the next steps, next ideas. SO, when he put in my head to write, I scoffed! Then He began reminding me of my humble beginnings-reminded me that I had cut out and kept an entire album of my weekly writings for the local newspaper, the Sheridan Press. As a junior in high school I wrote a weekly youth column and was their youth news reporter. I thought I was going to be a journalist when I was in high school. I called my mom to ask if she remembered this album and could she find it. Sure enough, a few days later it was sitting on my dining room table. I opened it and laughed. My writing was so black and white and naive I thought. All the more reason why I definitely didn’t want to blog-cause my thinking is a bit more gray these days and I definitely don’t want to be under the public eye like I was as a youth reporter again.
People judge you. “Yep, people judge you, Beckie,” God whispers. “And Beckie, you judge too.” God is humbling me. “Ugh, you’re right God, I do. I even judge blogging. It’s for the “perfect moms”, the people who want public attention, who want to expose themselves to the world. That’s definitely not for me.” And guess what, God says, “Beckie, I want you to blog.” UGH! So, here I am exposing myself to the world, trembling and feeling completely humbled and vulnerable. Be gentle with me. This journey is good, it’s God’s path for me. I’m convinced of that. Yet, it’s still hard to follow the narrow path and do something outside of my comfort zone, to be a voice among millions. Thoughts of “who cares, why does it matter, what difference does it make, and hundreds more buzz through my head as I begin this process. But let me tell you, if God wants you to do something, best to just do it because I’m confident blessing for obedience is right around the corner.
So, why blog?? I’m not sure what your “why” is, but I know that you need one otherwise when the going gets tough you’ll flounder, you’ll doubt. Have a vision. Wait on a vision if you don’t have one. For me, it’s spiritual, God will draw you to it, give you a plan, a strategy. He has been in every detail, even to giving me the category topics for my blog (they all start with F and are cute and creative-totally not me!) and the colors for the site design. Purple (a color in the bible-signifies royalty) and gray, well gray, because life is lived in the gray-as much as you want things black and white and clear, and maybe a touch of green (cause this is going to grow you Beckie, and new life will come from this). So, if you’ve made it to the end of this blog post and are encouraged I would be so grateful and honored if you’d join me on my journey. Sign up to receive notifications of my writings and news. I’m terrified to even say it for fear of what you might write, but you could even leave a comment! Now let me go warm my clammy hands and sweaty shirt. This is going to be quite the process!